The History of Humping

How this all started………

I was visiting a friend in Ithaca, New York when my first humping episode took place. We were walking home from the infamous Ruloff’s Bar, when out of the corner of my eye I spot 4 Asian students sitting in the corner window of a local coffee shop. Now what happened next was spontaneous and childish, but made for an interesting story. I ran over to the coffee shop, jumped up on the ledge of the window and humped it like it was Daryl Hannah in The Clan of the Cave Bear. It was a forceful, obnoxious hump that seemed to catch all 4 students off guard. It was an invigorating experience, which left me happy and somewhat embarrassed for myself. The next day we awoke with mild hangovers and laughed about the experience. It was at that moment when I realized people take life too seriously, and if we could all just hump one thing (in a non-sexual way) we can make this world a happier place. My humping laid dormant until I took a trip to Atlanta to see a friend. While in Atlanta I humped a gated fence, a newspaper stand, as well as a phone book; and as time went by, my humping of things (usually while I was extremely intoxicated) increased.

Then in the winter of 2001, while on a trip in Key West, FL, me and three of my friends were on a 3 day bender and I walked up to a minivan filled with a nice happy family and announce to all of them, “I HUMP THINGS!” And just like that, I had a website name and the ihumpthings.com phenomenon was started. And I have regretted every humping episode since.

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Random Hump

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